I’ve always found that I do well thinking and explaining things through analogies. I've also found that kids understand concepts so much easier this way, too.
Here's a way to explain to kids (and let's be honest, a lot of adults need it laid out like this, too!) how we can feel our feelings AND learn to manage them. We don't have to just accept that anxiety, anger, or other big emotions are going to take over.
Think about the difference between a firehose and a faucet.
A firehose is intense. If you've ever seen someone learning to hold one, you know it takes strength, practice, and training to manage the force of the water. It's not something you just pick up and figure out. (You gotta build that muscle too!)
Sometimes our feelings can feel that way, too. They show up suddenly, feel overwhelming, and leave us wondering how to get control of what's happening.
But feelings can be like a firehose OR a faucet.
A faucet can be turned up and down. And when the flow gets too strong, we can use tools to help turn it down.
Those tools look different for everyone. Some people need a safe place to talk, cry, or let it all out. Others use breathing techniques (like box breathing) or mindfulness (like the 5-4-3-2-1 senses exercise) to lower the intensity and make room to process what they're feeling.
The goal isn't to turn the faucet completely off. We don't need to stop feeling angry, anxious, sad, or frustrated. We just need to learn how to adjust the flow. And it’s important to make sure we let it flow or the pressure builds up, and it can start to feel more like a firehose and harder to manage it like a faucet.
And just like learning to handle a firehose, managing our emotions takes practice. We have to learn what tools work for us and how to use them.
The important thing for kids (or anyone) to understand is that they don't have to be afraid of their feelings, and they don't have to let those feelings take over. They can feel them, work through them, and learn to manage them.
For some starter tools on emotional regulation, check out this post on grounding.
For therapy support in Flower Mound, Texas and Utah around parenting, building emotional skills and awareness, or help processing challenging emotions - contact Callie Manea Counseling.
